


Smarter Than Spencer

by Jacinta



Series: Things Spencer Probaby Isn't and Stories Spencer Probably Won't Tell [6]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Chess, Gen, Geniuses, Reid as mentor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 01:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3432959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacinta/pseuds/Jacinta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a case the team meets a genius with nine points on their doctor, can Spencer wipe the arrogant and condescending smirk off the younger man's face?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smarter Than Spencer

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick little something I wrote at work/on the bus. Basically I was thinking about the heap of dumb!Reid fics (acted or actual) and wondered how it might go if he was already playing dumb, or understating his intelligence. As always, feel free to point out mistakes or comment, I do love feedback.

It had to happen eventually, in fact, Kate was surprised it had never happened before. Then again, it may have gone down completely different, it wasn’t often you would come across someone with a higher stated IQ than Reid after all, in fact, if you’d asked her about the possibility then she’d have laughed. She’d have joined most of the team laughing in horrified amusement at the very idea. Because really, as Reid so often stated, IQ tests weren’t that reliable above 160, and his eidetic memory certainly helped even if it didn’t count as intelligence strictly speaking. They may test higher but they could never truly beat their genius.

Now they were watching Reid talk the _other_ genius into accepting and cooperating with protective custody. The young man was completely insufferable, the opposite of Reid in so many ways, even though they’d all thought of him as an irritating show-off at a minimum of one frustrated moment since they’d met him. Usually immediately after meeting him. _This_ man however, he would barely talk to the alpha males of the group, JJ had tried to reason with him, and so had Kate, both had stormed out. JJ had been contemplating _showing_ him what the unsub wanted to do to him and Kate had stormed out grumbling that he was a certifiable idiot no matter how many IQ points he possessed. Then Reid had returned, coffee in one hand as he tried to rub where the door had viciously attacked him, walking into a desk in the process.

Reid was only nine points behind Dr (about five times over) Remes and about twelve years older. Maybe the egotistical and condescending man, no, next to Reid he was a boy, would listen to _him._ Judging by the way Reid’s face started looking honestly shocked they’re not holding out much hope anymore and are going to have to force the doctor into protection. When Hotch saw Reid’s posture reaching dangerous levels of indignation he decided to intervene before he snaps. Their genius is spluttering and making squeaking sounds as Hotch literally drags him away, arms flailing as he tries to communicate something, probably his disbelief, and fails spectacularly.

“Hotch! He- that man- I can’t- idiot-he’s-giant-.” Reid splutters as he’s dragged past the team and into the conference room that they’ve been using, the others following with no small amount of amusement.

“Reid, we know, we all took turns before you.” Rossi assured feeling a little morose, he’d never been an intellectual but he was starting to think they should turn Dr Remes on the unsub and hope they kill each other.

“But Rossi! He’s a-can’t believe-arrogant-egotistical-how?” He whined the last word falling into a seat and looking at them as though they’d told him there was no coffee left, anywhere in the world.

“I wish I knew.” Hotch muttered. “Reid, calm down, you’re scaring the locals.” He scolded instead, and it was true, as Hotch had pulled Reid over one of the locals had muttered that someone broke the android.

“Let me go talk to him again.” Reid said getting up and they had no doubt that ‘talk’ mean ‘scream until he submits’ and Morgan pushed him back into the chair. “Oh god, do I sound like that? I don’t sound that bad do I?” He asked looking up in mortification and they all shook their heads.

“He is an insufferable, egotistical, arrogant, jerk who comes from an Ivy League family and outdid them all academically. I don’t think you could sound like him even if you tried.”  Kate assured. “Plus, you’re way smarter than him.” She’d done well until that last bit, a squeak emitting from Reid again.

“This is like when Morgan gets into ‘my muscles are bigger than yours’ silent arguments isn’t it? We’re being childish and posturing to see who the smartest genius is really.” Reid asked sounding absolutely horrified which insulted Morgan a little but after today he liked the idea of being brawn not brains.

“If that’s what this is he won.” JJ muttered darkly.

“Spencer, that is not what this is at all.” Hotch assured shooting JJ an annoyed glance. “If that’s what I thought you were doing I would have dragged you out a lot sooner, I was worried you’d actually hit him.” Hotch said and Reid looked even more horrified.

“We have to protect that jerk.” Reid said slowly and they were relieved to hear he’d calmed down and sounded less like Siri trying to talk from the bottom of a pool. “But afterwards, can I please challenge him to a battle of smarts?” Reid asked looking up at Hotch hopefully.

“I should say no, but go for it Reid. Wipe the condescending smirk off his face for us.” Hotch agreed and Reid smiled, a smile that made him look like an evil genius, they almost felt sorry for the other genius.

 

The case went on and as they took turns guarding the idiot genius they found themselves hoping desperately that Reid could put him in his place. Reid had produced one of the best geographical profiles they’d seen, all on his shift in the room with Dr Remes. They only sat in the room for an hour since if Dr Remes talked, and he usually did at some point, their desire to let the unsub at him grew steadily. It seemed wiser and far more humane to break that up into hour shifts. Plus, it kept them alert.

Even better was the fact that Reid would occasionally offer the map or whatever he was working on to Dr Remes who turned his nose up and refused as though he were too good for it, even though they could tell he wasn’t sure how to do what Reid was. They couldn’t help but laugh when it was simply reading a book in Russian, they’d grown used to Reid reading foreign language brick sized books before breakfast. Reid took five in, flipping through them, maintaining the required level of vigilance, then sighed about a nice light read and offered them to Dr Remes who’d been getting ready for bed. Rossi had barely contained his pride and not even trying to hide his laughter.

Finally they caught the unsub, who, while not as intelligent as Dr Reid or Remes, was a cunning son of a bitch who got a little too close. He’d outpaced them rather than outsmarted them, but they’d caught him and had never been more relieved to let a target out of their care. Mostly because Reid casually suggested they play chess, poker, any game of intellect Dr Remes suggested. Hotch could barely contain his happiness when the man had chosen chess, Gideon had taught Reid not to play by the methods but rather to profile what methods his opponent would use and then coming up with something that seemed odd in response. Remes added the challenge of solving complex equations, a list of a hundred which they quickly agreed upon to be sufficiently difficult without appearing impossible.

They decided to play right that instant, in the police station. The Chief, eager to see either one beat, agreed to let them use an interrogation room and none of them could resist sliding into the observation room. Morgan called Garcia who pulled up the feed from the security camera as the two set up the chess set one of the officers had in his desk. It wasn’t anything special, certainly not what would be expected for a match this tense but it would suffice. They placed two phones on the table, one to track their turns and the other to confirm the answers to their equations, a notebook beside the latter in case one required some working. Remes offered it as though Reid would need it, his team could tell he’d already solved all of the equations and was ready to type in the answer, even though they had no idea where to even begin.

“I should warn you I’ve never lost a match.” Dr Remes smirked and Reid just smiled softly, he’d managed not to respond to the constant barbs from the doctor.

“I should warn you, I’ve lost many.” Reid’s smile didn’t falter as Remes’ confusion grew. “Do you want white or black? Since I am challenging you it is only fair you choose.” Reid offered the board to Remes who turned the white pieces to Reid.

“I’ll give you a fighting chance, not that White’s advantage will help you much.” Remes offered and Reid shrugged.

“If you wish.” Reid acquiesced, starting the clock and moving his first piece, he personally felt black had the advantage but it wasn’t significant, skill was the true decider.

 Two moves passed in silence until Remes spoke again. “I must admit something is confusing me.” He smirked harder as Reid made his move.

“Go ahead, I’d be happy to explain.” Reid smiled back. “I make a point of learning at least one new thing a day, I imagine that would be difficult in protective custody.” Reid didn’t really, he thought it would be quite easy, but he’d never been in protective custody so he reasoned it could be far more difficult than he thought.

“Only one?” Remes asked as he took his turn and Reid rolled his eyes, quickly moving his piece. “Why would someone with such potential waste it with these _average_ people all day?” Remes asked, finishing his equation and starting his turn.

“They’re good people, nice, funny, just because their IQ doesn’t measure as high as mine or yours doesn’t mean there isn’t so much they can teach us. I’d have never even bothered to try and fight someone physically and expect to win but they taught me that.” Reid offered, he’d held the unsub off and used his agility to tire him out, while leading the fight away from Dr Remes before Hotch had held him still for the panting doctor to handcuff.

“What a crowning achievement.” Remes drawled sarcastically. “Oh don’t misunderstand me, I understand the need for those with physical skills, someone must do the manual and tedious labour, but why would you consider that a mark of learning? You looked like a Neanderthal attacking that man.” Remes mocked and Reid looked amused for a second as the man had to pause to solve the equation.

“I consider it a mark of learning because unlike the subject matter of my preferred areas of study, it didn’t come to me easily. A late night study session didn’t fix what problem I might have as it would with advanced physics or mathematics.” Reid explained. “It was something that doesn’t come naturally to me but I overcame that disadvantage. While I’m not nearly as proficient as Morgan, or even JJ whom I noted you consider weak, I am perfectly capable of holding my own, even against an opponent who has a few inches and quite a lot of muscle mass on me.”

“Are you attempting to imply that your ability to physically beat someone who is clearly stronger than you will translate to mentally besting someone intellectually far beyond you?” Remes asked and Rossi bit his lip, he’d have decked the man right there and by the looks in the observation room he wasn’t the only one.

“No, physical and mental strength are not immediately comparable.” Reid actually smirked a little before controlling his face and tapping the timer. “I’m implying that assuming the unsub would win because he is visually bigger and stronger than me is foolish and only takes a few variables into account. If you were to view the fight as a mathematical formula you would see it was no surprise I won, that is why I did not attempt to find another path.” Reid explained.

“You do not expect me to believe that you knew you would win out of anything more than hubris.” Remes scoffed. To their amazement Reid listed the variables, writing the equation out between taking his turns and answering his equations. The team didn’t know if they should be more surprised that Reid had calculated his chances in a fight or that it was so complicated.

“Checkmate.” He announced as he finished writing out the equation and moved his final piece. “Maybe that was a fluke, perhaps we should rematch.” Reid offered and Remes was still staring at the board in shock, going over all the moves in his head to find how he had lost.

“I can see the potential in you.” Remes tried to sound as though he’d allowed Reid to win, without saying so much and Reid shook his head. “With me you shine, maybe not as bright but certainly far more than among your FBI team. I can almost believe you’re close to my intellect.”

“You have five doctoral degrees and you’re not even twenty, that’s quite impressive, I only had three.” Reid demurred and Remes smiled, his ego flattered. “I’ll take black this time, to be fair.” He added, turning the board after they set it up and they started again, Remes moving first.

“You have three doctorates and three bachelors, that’s not entirely unimpressive.” Remes admitted and Reid smiled as though flattered.

“Oh, those are just the ones I chose to advertise. I chose hard science doctorates to emphasise my intelligence to excuse my physical limitations, and bachelors in more subjective and human subjects to warn that I am more than a walking computer.” Reid explained and the team felt their collective jaws drop, he had _more_?

“Why not let others know you’re intelligence?” Remes asked curiously, focus still on beating Reid.

"It’s not about being the smartest. I've found stating an IQ over 190 earns violence and hatred from anyone not with a ten percent range. While few appreciate an IQ over 160 on a personal level it excuses my eccentricities and is very useful for work." Reid explained calmly. "Your mentors have failed to teach you an important lesson."

"A lesson yours gifted you with?" Remes sneered.

"My mentors weren't able to, but the public schools and average universities I went to had students willing. Only instead of using words they used violence and humiliation to remind me of the lesson I learned very quickly." Reid answered. "Humility. The most painful lesson I've learned but one of the most important."

"Humility? Humility is for average people, you and especially I are better than them." Remes insisted.

"We're not." Reid insisted moving his final piece. "You judged me by my appearance, my stated IQ, just as the unsub judged my physical capabilities. Check mate." Reid smirked slightly.

"What is your IQ then?" Remes asked starting to realise Reid was smarter than him.

“Unimportant.” Reid waved a hand but Remes insisted. "I am not quantifiable on the tests currently used, I believe the term is, I aced them." Reid offered with a small smile. "187 was to give me worth and leeway with regulations, it is also what I scored the first time I took the test when I was six. I scored lower because I was suffering from a concussion and untreated broken wrist.” Reid excused with a shrug.

"That's not possible!" Remes argued.

"I agree but I did the test ten times in college. One of my mentors had an IQ of 149, impressive but not genius, yet I almost never won a game of chess against him." Reid watched calmly as Remes’s anger faded into shock.

"How?" Remes whispered.

"He profiled what techniques I would use and used seemingly bad techniques to trap me, just as I did to you. Aren't you curious about the five doctorates I don't mention?" Reid asked.

"I presume softer subjects like humanities." Remes tried to regain his haunty tone.

"In second grade they let mum take me to university to keep me out of trouble at school. I had to spend all day in various classes so I just began collecting bachelors. Medieval literature was my first doctorate, I took over teaching for mum informally when I was nine, started assisting her when I was seven." Reid explained.

"Why couldn't she teach?" Remes asked.

"On a good day she remembered she had a son and could fight with dad, bad days I fought with him and tried to convince her that the medication was safe. My team presumes that because dad left when I was ten he was there before that, I became my mother’s keeper when I was six, always close by for when her mind worked against her." Reid glanced to the mirror hoping they weren't listening but Remes needed to learn.

"Why not just pay someone to care for her?" Remes asked.

"We couldn't afford that, when dad left I could barely stretch mums income to feed and house ourselves." Reid explained gently. "IQ does not entitle you to money, you were lucky to have it to attend a school that could ever hope to teach you. We're entitled to an education, but the schools you went to were a privilege of wealth not intelligence." Reid stressed his point.

"What are your degrees?" Remes asked starting to see Reid was not just smarter, he was wiser.

"Doctorates in medieval literature, mathematics, chemistry, engineering, biology, sociology, psychology, criminology, and linguistics." Reid listed. "More master and bachelors than I care to admit."

"Why not advertise that? I imagine in your profession the last four would be far more useful than the ones you chose." Remes pointed out what the team wanted to ask.

"I joined this team when I was 22, lots of people were angry about someone so young and new getting the position. Instead of proving myself to every alpha male in the building I did the opposite, I played on my youth and encouraged my new team in teaching me, drawing attention from my academic achievements. Our success through academic means can be damaging to other people’s egos, if we want to have friends and work with them we have to prove that we don’t think of ourselves as better.” Reid explained.

“I don’t understand. We are better, that should be abundantly clear even to them, why not remind them when they forget?” Remes asked and Reid sighed.

“You know how many animals will offer their neck in submission to the pack leader?” Reid asked with a small smile. “When I joined the team was comprised of three alpha males, a media liaison and Gideon, my mentor. JJ has a strong maternal instinct so there was no problem with here but there was no way I could have proven my worth to the others so I offered my throat, my weaknesses. One worked on my fighting skills, one on my shooting and one on social matters, by focusing on that they felt a certain level of dominance, they knew they were better than me in some areas so they could accept I was better in others. I wanted to learn, but I’d have offended too much them if I’d allowed the focus to remain on my IQ.” Reid detailed it carefully.

"Why would he think that?" Morgan asked in shock as they watched Remes consider what he'd been told.

"Because it's true, we’d have seen an arrogant young man like this one.” Hotch scolded gently and Rossi sushed them.

"So why work with people who can't appreciate your intelligence?" Remes asked.

“They do appreciate me, but sometimes it can take a little while, especially in a job like this. Besides, there’s no way to avoid interacting with people whose IQ is far beneath ours, socially and professionally. We can alienate everyone around us by boasting our IQ or we can build friendships.” Reid scolded gently.

"I have friends." Remes interrupted.

"Then why did no one visit? You have sycophants who use you to make themselves look or feel better." Reid laid down a harsh truth they'd all noticed. "My friends are there when I need someone, they appreciate me in a way no one in academia does." Reid added still gentle and they saw Remes had tears forming.

"When I get sick mum hires a nurse still." Remes sniffed.

"When I was sick last month my friends broke into my house, cooked me soup, cleaned up my puke, and watched my favourite shows with me. One even read to me when I couldn't sleep." Reid said and moved to kneel beside Remes, taking his hand. "That's what friends do, even when you try to insist you aren't that sick really, you can look after yourself. It feels nice too, not being alone, being with people who care about more than your latest achievement."

"I could have that?" Remes whispered sounding like a lost child.

"Yes. But you have to learn intelligence isn't everything. Conduct your own experiment, be nice to people and learn their strengths, let them teach you." Reid instructed. "You'll find it's more fun too."

"I don't know how." Remes' voice was so small they almost missed it.

"It’s not something that can be taught in a classroom, I can’t just give you a formula. But maybe try listening, you agree that placing you in protective custody was important now?" Reid asked and he nodded. "So apologise. See how my team treats you when you admit your fault. Look for their skills." Reid urged.

"Will you keep in contact?" Remes asked suddenly as Reid stood up.

"Sure, I'm always happy to help a young genius find their way." Reid smiled and Remes took his hand again, letting Reid lead him out to where the others had gathered.

"I'm sorry I was so judgmental." He tried to take some of his earlier confidence back but they could see right through to the scared boy inside.

"How about we pretend you were afraid and presume that's not your usual behaviour?" Hotch suggested.

"Not often we meet someone smarter than 187 here, how about a do-over?" Rossi agreed letting Reid know they'd heard everything and nothing had to change if he didn’t want it to.

"Thank you. Perhaps I could take you to lunch as a thank you?" Remes offered and Hotch smiled.

"There's a pretty good diner just down the road." Morgan offered.

 

The team set out, Remes still had a lot to learn but maybe the young genius would turn out well. Reid would have some explaining to do, and a slightly offended technical analyst to face, not to mention no small amount of jests over being a social tutor, but he’d continue to get by. There was no better end to a case than when they could not just save a life, but improve one as well.

**Author's Note:**

> I've got a few bigger ideas kicking around and I'd like to know which one you guys would prefer.   
> Reid as unsub (Plays with the team like a cat and a ball of yarn)  
> Reid as a bird/human hybrid   
> Reid with a really screwed up family and a kind of ESP sort of thing  
> Then Reid from "Spencer Sex Sensation"revealing the truth behind his 'rent boy in Vegas' crack  
> Also God!Spencer is still demanding more but I'm not sure where to go with that.  
> So if you care, tell me which you want me to focus on, seriously, I have way too many stories going at once here. It's getting confusing.


End file.
